{Afraid: A Daughter's Prayer}

January 1,2011
{Afraid: A Daughter’s Prayer}
Dear Lord,
I am afraid, I fear the unknown, and I am afraid. I know that must sound silly, but for me, not knowing the unknown is a scary concept. All I want is the ability to ask you to bring anything to me that brings you glory, without fear of what that will be. But there are so many lies from everyone, their prayers put on the back burner, and our relationships wounded because they don’t understand the relationship I have with you. How do I help them understand?

I know I am young in my years and in my faith, and I have come to accept that, but I have not come to the acceptance that because of that you can’t use me in BIG ways, the HUGEST ways possible! Everyday, I feel such an unbearable weight in my life because so many people have not come to this same acceptance. It comes from my family, my friends, strangers, the media, & the devil. How do I help them understand what you have promised me?

You have planted seeds deep down in my heart Lord, many of which have been planted recently. The problem with the new seeds though, is that everyone around me is starting to see them blossom, and they are becoming scared because you are starting to place BIG and HUGE wonderful opportunities into my life that are going to require a lot of trust in you. They are scared because not everything is going to be easy, but Lord, I know you planted these seeds in my heart at the perfect time and in your perfect way. I also know that because of this, I have to move forward and OBEY you, despite what everyone else fears. I have enough fears of my own, I can’t continue on with adding everyone else’s to my load too & I won’t anymore. These seeds can’t just sit in my heart from now on, you would have not put them here until years later if you wanted that. You put them here now, and because you did, I will run with them, trusting in you, obeying you, the WHOLE way. Lord, how do mend my relationships so that they can see this too? How do I begin to trust people, and how do I help them to begin trusting you with your hand over my life? How do I help them realize that YOU are the ultimate PARENT figure and friend and that you have far better plans for my life than they do? How, Lord?

Some may ask if this is what I really want for my life and I say YES!!! Because one thing I have learned is that no matter how small or big the seed you plant in my heart and in my life is, if I OBEY you, either way, the small seed will become BIG and the big seed will become HUGE and what they store for me is wonderful!!! I can and am accepting the fact that it will not always be comfortable and easy because I know my act of obedience will further me and draw me closer to you. Lord, how do I help them see this?

Amen.